The move from hell

So, I wrote this essay for my mother about how my move into my new apartment at the beach went. It did not go well. I have been promising Casey forever that I would let her read it. (I am thinking Casey is going to be quite an important figure here in the Mind of a Misanthropic Girl.) So anyway, what better place to post my essays than here!

Enjoy.

Round one:

So, we wake up at 7 am. We go to pick up our Budget van, which we only got because USAA recommended Budget, at 10 am, the time on our reservation. We get there and they say they don’t have the truck we wanted, a 10 foot, but they do have a 24 foot they’ll give us at no additional charge. Yeah, no. So then they say we can have a 16 foot but the person didn’t bring back the keys so we’ll have to wait. So Jason and I continue moving things in his car. Two round trips, a ton of gas, and an hour later we call again. No keys. Two more trips, more gas, another hour. No keys. Jason and I start to bicker. I get fed up and call U-Haul. They have a 17 foot for three times as much. We take it. We drive quickly to U-Haul but have to stop for MORE gas. I get to U-Haul and tell them my sob story. They match the price.

Round two:

We get to the apartment and the movie crews that were supposed to be gone are all over the areas we have to park the van in. About 45 minutes later we find someone to have the security guard move. We now only have 5 hours to have the truck loaded, make the drive, and unload before I have to get it back. We also have people coming to the new place in two hours to help – Casey and her boyfriend. To make a long story a bit shorter, I now have multiple bruises, have had a mattress dropped on my face, and feel like I’m going to have a heart attack because it’s 4:30 and we should have been unloading already. I call U-Haul and tell them my sob story and ask how much more it would be to take it in the next day. The very nice man tells me no extra charge because I was crying. Yay! Multiple phone calls later Casey tells me not to worry, they’ll come whenever we get there. By 9 pm I am ready to fall over. Cats are freaking out. We still have some stuff and some cleaning left but we decide to just go anyway. We head to our respective vehicles…..

Round three:

I get the cats loaded in the car and text Casey to meet me in half an hour. I turn on the ignition. Click click click. Battery’s dead. The security guards I earlier hated rush over to help me. I now love them. I call Jason to tell him to come get the keys so he can go ahead. I say, “The battery’s dead.” He says, “How do you know?” I say, “Because I’m in the (explicit) car now just come get the keys.” He says, “How….” I hang up on him. He comes rushing around the corner and sees the security. He asks what’s going on. I say, “THE BATTERY IS DEAD. I TOLD YOU THAT.” He says, “No, MY battery is dead.” Yes, mother. Both our batteries were dead. How does that happen, you ask? No idea. But the security guards that I now love jumped us both and sent us on our way. I call Casey. She tries not to laugh. I want to punch her.

Round four:

We get to the new place. Casey and Brandon come. They are enormously helpful and we get done very quickly and fairly organized then have lots of beer. It’s three in the morning. I think we won this round.

Round five (Sunday):

We get up and can barely move. It hurts. It hurts bad. But we have to return the truck and finish getting the stuff and cleaning. U-Haul drop off is very easy. Everyone was very nice. We get to the apartment and finish up fairly quickly, though not as quickly as we’d like. Half way through we get a phone call. What phone call you ask? Diana is in the hospital. Yes, mother. We both have parents in the hospital in the same week. How does that happen, you ask? No idea. But she has to get a cardiac catheter because she’s having heart problems. Jason freaks out for good reason. We call her and she seems okay but we have to call her tonight to find out what’s going on. We go home. Casey brings us pain killers. (Have I mentioned I love her? Definitely glad no punching was involved.) I forget a part of our water filter at the old house and the water at the new place is gross. Jason and I walk to the liquor store down the block. On the way our very nice neighbors who have all known each other for years invite us to a “flash-que,” or what I gather is an impromptu barbeque. I am correct. We attend, have a great time.

Round six (today):

I am exhausted and in pain. I came out battered and bruised and I lost a lot of the battles but I won the war because I love the new place. But boy, was coming into work hard.

The end.